The Odd Man Affair

I love screencapping, I love Man From Uncle, I love spewing irreverent opinions. The Odd Man Affair is one of my favourite episodes. Here is my irreverence. This will, of course, take a slash angle.

 Illya is obviously deep, deep undercover here. Maybe he thinks it's ironic that he's reading something with a target on the front. I suppose he hasn't experienced the Virtue Affair yet. Maybe he thinks it's ironic he's reading about pop. If he weren't deep undercover he'd be reading about quantum mechanics or a new breed of bee, or something.

Deep, deep undercover, but still cute. 

 He's on the case, though. When supervillain 'Raymond' tries to threaten his way off the plane with a hostage, he's there, looking concerned.

 When the aforementioned Raymond blows a hole out of the aeroplane bathroom Illya is there, risking death and doing a fine bit of acting as the plane decompresses and almost sucks him out into the atmosphere. Why did Raymond essentially commit suicide? We'll never know. Maybe he had a parachute?

 Why, Illya, what pointy shoes you have!

 Always ready with the dry wit, Illya suggests the man is entitled to a partial refund.

 Back in New York, Napoleon and Illya are having fun rifling through Raymond's case looking for nasty devices.

 As Napoleon blows up one of the nasties he had the look of a man passing rather uncomfortable wind.

 He's back to looking suave, though, as he finds out that Illya liberated Raymond of his wallet.

 Oh, Illya, how I love you. Illya is all pure presence of mind. That is his essence. A state of constant readiness. A polymath among us.

 This is a beautiful glimpse of Sixties Man in his domestic setting. Perhaps I should say Fifties Man, as the whole premise here is that Sully is past it. He works in the Inactive Files division, which must be thrilling. But he's the only person who might know anything about Raymond, who was big in the Resistance in WWII.

 Illya, as ever, is lurking in the background. It's his way.

 Illya is so in the background that he doesn't even get a slightly eggy handshake, as the kettle is boiling.

 Lurking. Always lurking. Napoleon is at home. Illya is lurking.

 He's quite suspicious of Sully, too, as Waverly tries to persuade him to help on the case.

 Illya is supicious. Napoleon isn't too impressed. Sully says he won't help them become Raymond. He'll be Raymond himself. He has them over a barrel.

 On the plane, Napoleon and Sully enjoy a nice game of cat's cradle. At least, I think it is. Napoleon loses. He also plants a homing pin in Sully's trouser cuff.

Illya, prescient as always, knows that Napoleon has planted a pin in Sully's cuff, despite being asleep and facing the other way. That's because he knows his husband so well.

 They're both happy, anyway, as Napoleon snuggles in a little closer to sleep with Illya. Who wouldn't be happy?

 Sully is more on the ball than one would think. He's packed bottles of alcohol in Napoleon and Illya's luggage and tipped off the incredibly-English customs man.

 Who'd suspect a face like that of smuggling? But never mind, because Sully has gained his advantage, and lost his tail, putting the homing pin on the customs man's coat as he leaves.

 But - aha! Illya, prescient as always, has planted his own pin, and a microphone. Good boy, Illya. This leads to one of the most gorgeous interchanges in the whole episode. Thus:

 We all know, Napoleon, that he's already made someone a marvellous secret agent. You, you great lummock.

 But then, Bryn. Oh, Bryn, Bryn. Bryn? It's a Welsh man's name. It means Hill. But maybe Americans use it for girls? Anyway, bestill my beating heart. Bryn is the most wonderful thing to enter this series since Illya. Bryn is a goddess. Widowed, with children at school (for at school I assume we're to read 'at boarding school') Bryn spends her time when not working at an accountancy firm sitting alone in pubs downing beer and playing darts. Bryn is amazing.

 Sully knows that Bryn is amazing. In fact, I suspect the only reason he insisted on taking this mission was so that he could hook up with Bryn again. I have to say, though, that I think Bryn is way out of his league. Bryn is out of most people's leagues. Bryn was also in the Resistance in France in WWII, and she's the only one who really knows what Raymond was like. Sully needs her. And beer and fish and chips, because he's in Blighty now.

 Just look at this woman. World-weary, jaded, inured against the stings of the world. Borderline alcoholic, but perfectly competent.

 Thanks to Illya's cunning, they know now where Sully is.

 Illya likes to take Napoleon's arm to cross the road.

 Illya's quite enjoying being in an English pub again, I think, but he's still playing the Lurker with Suitcase role with a strong hand.

 Lurking. Why sit when you can lurk?

 When Napoleon is peeved he looks like this. You wouldn't want to peeve Napoleon because you wouldn't want him to make sad puppy eyes at you.

 Illya, meanwhile, isn't wasting his time. Since he's in the pub, he'll have a stout. How often does he get the chance?

I guess that's a half, then. We'll ignore the fact that no respectable British pub would serve stout in a glass like that, or in the Germanic beer stein type glasses we see other people drinking from. British pubs do not serve beer/stout/etc in glasses like this. They just don't.

 Illya knows he might not have much time to finish his drink, so he essentially downs it in one.

 Meanwhile, Bryn has agreed to help Sully to impersonate Raymond. She's loyal. She won't sell Bert (Sully) out and help Napoleon and Illya without Sully. She has a wonderful dry tone as she delivers this line. One suspects Bryn has seen enough of weddings and funerals.

 This is the badge (pin. In Britain we call them badges) they found in Raymond's wallet. Sully is wearing it. I like this shot, as one of the baddies, Wye, I think, watches Sully through a tiny telescope. The baddies all have names that are letter of the alphabet. Wye and Zed and Ecks.

 This is Zed. He's not made to be likeable. He's a ruthless kind of London gang lord who's a bit of a glutton. Sully's mission is to - oh - something like get Raymond to stop this group making an alliance with the Left, because that will make these criminals too strong.

 Man in Hyde Park (Mr Ecks, I think?) is going to stab Sully with an umbrella. Now that's just crazy. Everyone knows spies don't really assassinate one another with umbrellas.

 Unfortunately for Ecks, Napoleon and Illya are at hand. This is the face of a man who's just killed himself by stabbing himself in the testicles.

 Our speaker on the podium is still at it, giving covert instructions to the gang members on where they should meet later.

 Napoleon and Illya pretend to be drunk, singing and staggering with the poor immolated man to a bench. Illya looks disgusted at this facade.

 Then they run for the bus, but they're chased by Wye. Napoleon is shot in the shoulder... (Hopefully it's the fleshy part.)

 So while Napoleon is swooning on the floor, Bryn -

 Bryn is bloody amazing. As the episode creeps on you start to suspect that Bryn hasn't really just been bringing up her children and working at an accountants for the last couple of decades. Bryn is awesome, and beats a hardened gun-toting London gang member off the bus with her handbag.

 Now she's beaten Wye off the bus she turns to ministering to Napoleon. Bryn is effing marvellous. I want Bryn with me, always.

 Poor Napoleon. He's very valiant. He shrugs off (not literally) the fact that he's been shot through the shoulder and tells the rest of them to get off to the club. Illya tells the conductor to take Napoleon to hospital forthwith and with haste.

 Illya is a concerned husband. He's not just going to run off and leave Napoleon without double checking.

 Napoleon, the promiscuous little bugger, is thinking about strippers.

 You'd forgive him, wouldn't you, if he gave you that look?

 Illya's got that look on his face of 'I'm sorry you've just been shot, so I'll smile at that, but I'm gritting my teeth and I'm going to have a word with you later, Napoleon.' Robert Vaughn is off for most of the rest of the episode, probably taking the chance to work on his thesis.

 Meanwhile, in the strip club, the juggler has apparently forgotten to undress, and leaves the stage, ashamed. Pity. I could have been up for some nude juggling. Illya makes a pithy comment about so many people in such a dark room finding the need to wear dark glasses. Like his dark glasses.

 There is no other reason for this shot than that Illya looks unbearable cute. He is the cutest secret agent ever.

 I love it when Illya does foreign-disdain. He does it so well.

 Meanwhile, the stripper comes on. She doesn't strip much, but starts displaying what Illya calls 'the language that deaf and dumb people use.' Sign language, Illya. We call it sign language.

 Illya is mightily miffed that he doesn't understand it, but Bryn does. It's something they used in the Resistance. She still remembers it. Bryn, are you sure you've just been holding down a regular job in an accounting firm?

 Then Sully - oh, Sully... He lights a cigarette. Raymond was allergic to tobacco. I suppose we couldn't suggest in a 1964 tv series that it might be marujana? It's too late. The Baroness has seen.

 Illya takes charge! Illya goes after the Baroness's husband and starts a massive fight.

Bryn is not one to be left out when she sees a rumble going down. Don't toy with Bryn.

 Bryn is freaking AWESOME. She has torn off the Baroness's dress. The man in the background is really enjoying the fracas and cheering people on with fist pumps.

 God, Bryn, how I love you. She's beaten off a gangster with her handbag. Now she's after the European aristocracy.

 Bryn is having SO much fun spanking the Baroness with her handbag. She is amazing.

 Mischief managed, they move on to the meeting headquarters, where Sully tries to go in alone. Illya's all up for that. He's had enough of this shit. He probably just wants to go and find out if Napoleon is all right.

 Bryn's having none of that, though, because Bryn is AMAZING. One suspects that if Illya tried to sit on her she'd spank him with her handbag and he'd have to let her go out of politeness.

 Illya knows where he stands here. He is Bryn's right hand man. Everyone is second to Bryn. I'm starting to wonder if Bryn has actually been working undercover for MI5 all this time, because she seems to know everyone in the place. I think the children in boarding school and the accountancy firm are just a cover.

 Mr Zed, with no love lost for Raymond, checks his pin badge and gives it back to him full of explosive. Illya is making Sully aware of this while trying not to let the others know he's talking about this, so he's pretending he's having a laughing conversation, which really just makes it look like he's overtly trying to Be A Spy.

 Bryn, of course (Did you know I love Bryn?) is utterly in charge. She knows everyone here. She makes sure that Sully knows, because Sully has to go in to the meeting alone. I think Bryn should have pretended to be Raymond. After all, he was a master of disguise.

 Sully's not all incompetance and faded dreams, though. He takes the badge meant to assassinate him and tucks it under Zed's lapel.

 It's all between Zed and Raymond. You don't want Zed to win. He's repulsive.

 While the meeting's going on, Bryn and Illya scout out the house. But Bryn bumps in to Wye on the stairs. He gets all rapey with her. You get the sense he's not going to kill her. He's just going to ruin her.

 It all starts going down now. Bryn runs away from Wye, Illya tussles with Wye, Illya grabs Wye's gun, but it goes off, straight through the door into the meeting room, conveniently killing a guard.

 Bang. Dead. Oops.

 Ever the equal opportunity employer, the bad guys (not Thrush this time. I don't think Thrush has a part in this) has a woman on guard at the door, complete with handbag, presumeably in case she come up against someone like Bryn. She shoots indiscrimitely through the door (hmmm...), killing Wye. Illya is still on the floor.

 Illya looks as if a miracle has occured and he's not going to question it.

 I'm not sure if Bryn is concerned or just amazed at the level of gross incompetence displayed by what are supposed to be top-notch people on both sides.

 Meanwhile, Zed triumphantly sets off the explosive badge, little suspecting he's actually killing himself. This is an impressive stunt here! Jacket pyrotechnics! But, voila, Zed is Dead, 'Raymond' can take control of the group, disaster is averted. Somehow (somehow?) things turned out right. I think this is basically because of Bryn.

 Sully escorts Bryn and Illya out of the place. He's intent on carrying on in the role of Raymond, alone. Seriously, Sully, based on past performance I really wouldn't recommend that.

 Bryn is not altogether overwhelmed at his decision. She thinks he's going to get killed. She's probably right. And she's seen enough funerals.

 So, Bryn is back at her regular table in the pub, chain-smoking and downing pint after pint in German beer glasses. Poor Bryn.

 She at least gets the pleasure of another glimpse of these two beauties, Napoleon all slinged up.

 There's a certain reticence in their faces at the thought of facing embittered, alcoholic Bryn. I don't blame them.

 Bryn, one suspects, has Had Enough. She is So Over pouring her heart into men who need shepherding through missions then swan off on their own.

 They tell her Sully is still alive. 'Bully for him,' she says.

 Napoleon tries to explain men like Sully to her. But I suspect that Bryn is more of a man like Sully than Sully is. Bryn has either been sleepwalking through life since the war, or she has in fact been working for British intelligence and is just done with dealing with amateurs. She's seen enough death. Maybe her husband was an agent?

 Illya has his own little go at explaining things to her. Bryn is thinking, 'Don't I fucking know it, pet?' She wants to be out there on the tightrope, in a sequined leotard, throwing down grenades at the bastard enemy and possibly spanking women with her handbag.

 Sully, her husband, herself... Oh, Bryn.

 My heart aches for Bryn. She challenges them to darts. But she's not up to much. She can't even hit the board. What's going to happen to Bryn?

 Illya is definitely hoping that Napoleon won't take up the offer of darts. They have a plane to catch in an hour. He doesn't want to be playing darts with a drunk and disillusioned woman.

 Bryn. Darts. Board. Missing.

 Illya, I think, is quite glad that he's let off from dealing with feminine Emotions.

But oh, Bryn. This is a bittersweet ending. Does she really have children? Is she trapped into a hateful life of dullness because of her maternal responsibilities? I rather hope that someone from U.N.C.L.E. London seeks her out and they recruit her, because, damn, U.N.C.L.E. needs women like Bryn. We all need women like Bryn. Every one of us. The world would be safer under Bryn's eye.